#Shit People Say!

This is where I document all the random, slightly offensive and straight-up weird stuff that people say to me since I lost weight.

When you’ve been overweight, or obese, as I was, you can expect people to notice when you start to shed a few kilos. How they react? Well, there’s just no telling what might come out of their mouth! Some people are suddenly threatened by you, others seem to experience some sort-of abnormal brain chemistry meltdown and just drop something completely inappropriate.

OMG! Do I look sick?! What’s wrong with me?!

By far the most common question is “Are you sick?” Wow, no subtle build up, no “how are you?” Just straight in there. “Are you sick?” Sick of retarded questions? Yes. Sick, as in am I dying? No. Now’s probably a good time to tell you, ocassionally I like to make people feel uncomfortable. Only when I feel they deserve it of course. My go-to response for this question is to start hyperventilating and launch in to a speculative rant about what might be wrong with me.

Okay, so maybe the whole are you sick thing shouldn’t come as a surprise. You lose 60kg (132lbs) and you look considerably different. Generally, people don’t assume obese people will actually lose weight. What’s left? Sickness obviously.

I hate bread! Bread killed my family.

One question that I never see coming, but I’ve had numerous times now is “Do you not eat bread?” That’s pretty random! Especially when there’s no bread in sight! Initially this question threw me a little and I explained that I love bread. But as this question keeps coming back I’ve modified my response somewhat. Okay a lot actually.

Bread didn’t kill my family, they’re alive and mostly well living around New Zealand. I apologise to all the bread out there, you already get a bad rap in the weight loss game.

I can see your nose but I’m not freaking out about it.

The next one actually pisses me off. “Stop now. Just stop! You look gaunt.” Well you look like a fucking cartoon character with your hair like that and the weird eyebrow thing you’ve got going on, but I’m not about to say it to you! Where’s the filter?! I’m never sure how to respond to this statement, usually I’m just stunned that people think it’s okay to say that to someone they don’t actually know very well. There’s also a fascination with my cheek bones. “That’s enough! I can see your cheek bones!” That’s just weird.

Leave my cheek bones alone. There’s many, many flaws with fashion industry but it tells me my cheek bones are a good thing. I’ll take that and run thanks.

As Much as I like the idea of Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, I just don’t have the accessories to match.

“You’re fading away.” or “You’re disappearing.” Um hello! I’m standing right here in front of you and you’re paying me more attention than ever.

I should point out that I’m completely happy to talk about nearly anything associated with my weight loss and fitness mission. If you’re genuinely interested that is. Some people are fascinated and just want to understand what level of commitment was involved, what I did, how I did it and why. And I’m completely okay with that. But if you’re going say something stupid, you will end up on this page. You have been warned.

-Shane